ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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