I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
