omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
