You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
