U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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