Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
420 ftw
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
