dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
