how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
