were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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