Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
