I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just found a bag of teeth...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
