After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
