I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
