His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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