coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
