Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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