Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
