She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She's the barista slut.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
