its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
