I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
