it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
