I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
