Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
