...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
