My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
