I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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