Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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