Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
