the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
