It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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