OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
