I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
