she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
