SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
