apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
