What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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