I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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