you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
