so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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