All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
