I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
