Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
