Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
