I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
