I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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