i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
