why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
