i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
