Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
