YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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