Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
